Delta, Delta, Delta
Re-integrating into society after the rollercoaster of 2020 has been weird. I moved to the U.S. one week before the lockdown was declared in New York, so I desperately want to get out of my apartment, meet people and make friends. I want to explore the city, eat all the amazing food it has to offer, and I want to dress up and get a fancy cocktail like in every great NYC-based sitcom. The sun is out, basketball courts are packed, fire hydrants are open and block parties are back on - it’s officially summer. We’ve all developed cabin fever after the last year, and a lot of us are ready to break out of it.
I admit, I wasn’t the perfect lockdown observer during the height of the pandemic. I travelled a couple of times when it was permissible and I let a traveller friend stay in my spare bedroom a few times over the year. I quarantined and I obsessively cleaned down every surface, and I stressed out about my decisions when travelled. But in reality, I took huge risks. I made it through - I haven’t tested positive for COVID yet - but I often think about those risks that many of us took for small blips of sanity.
Fast forward. I’m now vaccinated, and New York City has completely opened up. People still wear masks indoors, but it’s not enforced - I’ve seen plenty of people at the grocery store with no masks on. The buzz of the city is back. But at what cost? While we’re celebrating our new freedom, it seems like the rest of the world - or even, the rest of the country - is getting engulfed by the new Delta variant of COVID. I had dinner with friends and the next day, my Mum told me I can’t travel back home (London) for at least another couple of months, because the lockdown in the UK has been extended due to the Delta variant. Sydney and Bangladesh are both re-entering lockdown. A friend in New Orleans warned me that her friend - who both had had COVID and had received the vaccine - caught COVID over dinner from an unvaccinated friend and is in hospital. Meanwhile, in New York, if I leave the house wearing a mask now I get bizarre looks from strangers who think I must have not received the memo - COVID is over. It’s as though we have amnesia here and the last year was just a foggy, mythical memory.
In the midst of all of this, it’s hard not to start to experience a sort of PTSD about where this is all going. Last year, the US was in complete denial until it was far too late. Aren’t we just doing the exact same thing again now? Those of us who are vaccinated tell ourselves that we deserve to be out. Despite the case studies that show that vaccinated people can still catch COVID - especially from unvaccinated people - we feel like we’ve earned our right to leave our homes at this point. The unvaccinated tell themselves that they have made a personal choice not to take the vaccine, and they feel their decisions should not affect the rest of us. Delta is running rampant, and it is predominantly spreading through unvaccinated people. Unvaccinated people are more susceptible to COVID, and we are all at a higher risk when we’re exposed to unvaccinated people. I did a poll on Instagram this week (that’s who I am now), and almost 50% of the responders said they don’t care if their friends are vaccinated or not, they’re happy to hang out with them. The other 50% was horrified at the thought of being around unvaccinated people - many sent me a direct message to elaborate on their response.
A number of responders to my poll said they actively ask whoever they’re hanging out with if they’ve been vaccinated yet. I haven’t been doing that, and admittedly, I have actually known that some of the people I’ve been around regularly are unvaccinated. I wanted to believe that I was safe because I was vaccinated, even though deep down I knew that’s not the case. We all lived through 2020. We watched as other countries announced the spread of COVID and we lived in a bizarre denial that it wasn’t going to hit us. Right now, it feels like déjà vu .
I realise that refusing to hang out with unvaccinated people might not be the perfect solution. If 50% of vaccinated people are still exposing themselves to unvaccinated people, and 50% refuse to hang out with unvaccinated people, we are all still at risk. But doing absolutely nothing doesn’t seem like an option right now either. I’ve debated whether or not to change my approach to socialising in light of Delta. I wondered if friends/family would judge me - if they’d think I’m being suddenly dramatic or hypocritical. I’ve even been hesitant about asking people if they’re vaccinated, out of fear of being offensive or intrusive or opening a debate that I don’t want to have over a dinner table. The reality is, Delta is coming and it looks grim. If I’m vaccinated, I might not die but I can still suffer awful, long-term (and expensive - thanks, American healthcare) conditions as a result of getting COVID. If I catch COVID from an unvaccinated friend and I’m unable to breathe properly for a few months or years, I’m not going to be able to forgive myself or that person. I workout regularly - if I lose the ability to exercise or even walk regularly because of COVID, I will be furious that I hosted that one dinner where I was too scared to ask if my guests were vaccinated. None of it seems worth it right now. I can still catch COVID from vaccinated people, but the chances of contracting it around unvaccinated people is higher. My unvaccinated friends are not going to change, but my decision to be around them can change. We’ve made it this far, we’ve taken the vaccine, and we can make it further. Call it paranoid, call it hypocrisy or call it dramatic. Maybe I’ll still catch COVID regardless. I just have to know I didn’t catch it because I chose to be around an unvaccinated person.
